Back in early April 2011 I wrote a blog post with this same title (Fuzzy Faith Fails) which I’ve since deleted but as I looked back and reread it three months later I realized something. I realized that I was becoming very cynical about what has been happening in Christianity here in America over the past few decades. While I am certainly not alone in my observations about the decline of Christianity both within the church and in the broader culture, the one thing I was not aware of was how it had jaded me. I must confess that for some time now it has been hard to find a church (well, mostly I stopped looking) because I didn’t want a church that followed church growth gurus or were trying to be relevant to the culture or hide behind a shallow “positive thinking” approach. And, I wasn’t looking for a rock concert before the sermon, or treating God like a good ole boy or magic genie waiting to fulfill my prayers if I just learned to pray right or be positive enough. But I also discovered that it was my own “fuzzy faith” that had failed as well.
I must confess that over the years my book collection went from solid Christian authors to the more dubious but prolific “Christian” authors whose books took over so much of the bookshelf space in Christian bookstores. And the focus of most of these books was and still is clearly on us and what we should be doing in order to get something from God. Oh, the titles aren’t as obvious as that and are couched in language to “sell” to our own fleshly needs and desires. And I read a lot of them. Talk about confusion! But I came to realize that I was looking for a magic bullet just like everybody else, and the one book I kept ignoring over and over again was the Bible.
My first realization of this was after I had lost my job in Houston in April 2009 and was still living there. The “positive attitude” messages I heard weekly from the pulpit of the megachurch I had been attending since I arrived in Houston in September 2008 suddenly rang shallow. The “smile and be positive and God will come to your rescue” messages fell flat. I had lost my job through some very adverse circumstances and I was getting “cotton candy” sermons that didn’t deal with the hard realities of life.
When I first moved to Houston I felt a very strong impression that I needed to start waking up a couple of hours earlier then I had been before work to read the Bible and pray, so I started doing this immediately even though I must confess it felt odd to me. This was definitely something I had never done on a regular basis before, even though I professed to being a Christian for years. It’s not that I didn’t read the Bible (I did, sporadically) or pray (also sporadically) but I absolutely had no clue about the reality of spiritual warfare (Eph. 6:10-18). The circumstances of my life for the past many years indicated an erosion I was totally unaware of because the focus of so many churches or televangelists was not on understanding what true discipleship requires but on being “relevant” to the culture and learning how to get what we want from God. The vacuum was huge.
Within a very short time after starting my daily devotional time in the mornings before work I discovered a hunger that I had not experienced since I was a very young Christian. Hebrews 4:12-13 states “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” What I discovered was that my own very shallow faith was being built up, day by day, on the very sound principles of Scripture and I was learning to build a relationship with Jesus Christ that surpassed anything I had known in the past. It is the very thing that helped me survive the unfortunate work situation I found myself in as I knew there would be no “happy ending” as the sermons I heard on Sunday morning promised if I was just positive enough. No, there is real evil in the world and sermons on “being positive” don’t prepare anyone for that kind of battle.
After rereading my first version of “Fuzzy Faith Fails,” I realized that the fight I was picking was big and that there are too many churches out there that have fallen away from the principles of the Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I realize now that my anger was misdirected and that I still have issues to deal with in this area and that anger is not the way to address them. As a Christian, I am responsible for my own learning and should not be dependent solely on any church to build my relationship with Jesus Christ. That is not to say that the church isn’t important as the church is very important to the health of any believer, but in today’s society one must be careful of the church one chooses to be a part of, and that it is Biblical and not just trying to be relevant to the culture or serving our own desires.
I am so very aware of how much we are all just flawed human beings. I have always known that but I keep expecting people in churches to be different–to be kinder to each other; to not play games; to not gossip; to actually care about each other and not just their particular clique or group. There is no perfect church as all churches are made up of flawed human beings who aren’t always kind, who do play games at times, who do gossip (this one is prolific in most churches), and who only care about people “like them.” And I don’t have any answers to help remedy the situation (I’m so glad I’m not a pastor or a pastor’s wife).
I still struggle with all of this, but there is one thing that clearly stands out in my almost three years now since I moved to Houston to take the worst job of my life that has left me unemployed now for the past two years and two months: If I had not started to have a daily devotional time first thing every morning upon my arrival in Houston in September 2008 to really get to know Jesus Christ and the Bible, I would have never survived this whole ordeal. It was just way too big for me, and I was way too small. God has been my Protector and Provider through it all because I let go of myself and turned to Him when I didn’t even realize how far I had fallen into such an empty, fuzzy faith until then.
So, if you’re reading this and you want out of your own “fuzzy faith” and you’re wondering how to get started with a daily devotional time that really means something and isn’t just a ritual but a real building up of your faith and relationship with Jesus Christ that will stand the test of any trial you may be facing, let me make a suggestion. Lay aside your own wants or needs and start reading the Bible with Jesus in mind. The Gospel of John is a great place to start and then you might want to follow up with the book of Romans (written to a Christian audience where you will find both the very bad–keep reading–and the very good news). And, if you read with an open heart, you’ll find your way out of the fuzzy faith that has infected so many Christians today. But don’t believe me, read it for yourself.
The title for this blog post came from a subtitle in the book, “Hard to Believe: The High Cost and Infinite Value of Following Jesus” (p. 187) by Dr. John MacArthur (Thomas Nelson, 2008).
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