The Insanity Stops Now

‎Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity is this: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We’ve all heard it. We’ve all experienced it… over and over and over again. After spending the past two years and three months looking for a job… I QUIT!!!!!!!!!! Did you hear that? I QUIT!!! I have done the same thing over and over and over and over and over again and I’m still unemployed after applying for almost 450 jobs mostly in higher education. I’ve read where others have applied for upwards of 2,000 jobs in their line of work in their first six months of unemployment with no results. No results! I’m sure the frustration level among the unemployed is enormous right now, and personally I AM SOOOOO OVER IT!!! I’ve been going nowhere for two years and three months and I QUIT!!! Wow, I feel so much better having finally said that. Who needs money, right?

Oh yeah… money. Sigh… minor detail and I don’t want to think about it right now. I’m tired of thinking about money and finding employment and politics and religion and, well, I’m just tired of it all.  Einstein stated it so perfectly, and obviously he knew what he was talking about from his own experience, too.

Okay, I suppose I still have to keep looking for a job, but something HAS to change. This is not working and I’m tired of doing something that is not working. Yes, I know the unemployment problem is systemic and this is the absolute worst economy of my entire lifetime and that there are MILLIONS in my same situation. It’s heartbreaking but nobody cares, at least nobody who can do anything about it (and they are all employed), but I don’t want to take this post into the political arena. I may never vote again, but I’ll save my thoughts on that issue until after we know more and the election gets closer. And… if I am employed again by then.

So, now that I’ve expressed my frustration at the insanity of the job search, I’m going to take a break from it for a while. I’ve decided to focus on something I do have control over and make the necessary changes in that area. And maybe once I start to see results from that venture (it’s dependent on me and no one else) it will help me to renew and rethink perhaps the next steps to finding that elusive job in this most horrible economy. Besides, I have no idea how else to renew my strength for the long haul other then waiting on the Lord to move on my behalf and I can’t force His hand or His timing. After waiting for two years and three months (and it’s not a passive waiting as I’ve applied for almost 450 jobs so far) I’m not sure what the holdup is anymore. So, I must focus on something I can change (not related to job hunting) in the interim so as not to feel like a complete failure right now.

I receive a daily email devotion from Dr. Michael Youssef at Leading the Way (his blog is located here) and on July 10, 2011, I received a short devotion titled “Sent Into Hiding.” Hopefully the link to it will remain active as it is currently located in their archive. It is a devotion on what to do when you feel stuck in a stifling situation; in a season where you feel disconnected from other people; where “you long for the next step in your life, but you feel trapped in the present.” That so totally describes how I feel right now. It was a great help to me in trying to understand why this very trying time in my life just seems to go on and on and on with no end in sight. If you feel that way in your own life right now, I highly recommend reading this very short devotion by clicking here or the link highlighted above.

The one good thing to come from all of this frustration at being “stuck on hold” for what seems like forever is that it is not a permanent seclusion. When extraordinarily trying times come into our lives, God always has a reason. Since Bible times God has put His people in “waiting rooms” for a season until He is ready to move them on. Moses spent forty years in Midian between his earlier years in Pharaoh’s household in Egypt and his later years spent leading the Israelites through the wilderness to the Promised Land (see Exodus for a full account of his story). Joseph spent years as a slave and in prison before he eventually became the second in command in Egypt (see Genesis 37, 39-50).

So, it is not unusual for God to put us “on hold” or in a “waiting room” to prepare us for something in the future He has in store for us. There are many accounts throughout the Bible where He did this with His servants. That is not to say we might achieve things on such a grand scale as Moses or Joseph, but if we are patient and we learn to wait on God during this time of waiting (even in the midst of great frustration), His purpose will eventually unfold if we endure and don’t buckle under the stress or try to do it on our own. And, it’s not about the “greatness” of the task He is preparing us for, but the “purpose” of the task that He gives us to fulfill.

Well, now that I’ve thought this whole matter through I’m feeling better. Not that the frustration is gone but the focus has been put back where it belongs–on God. So let me end this post with the following verse from Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV):

“But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”

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