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The Insanity Stops Now

July 2011
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‎Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity is this: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We’ve all heard it. We’ve all experienced it… over and over and over again. After spending the past two years and three months looking for a job… I QUIT!!!!!!!!!! Did you hear that? I QUIT!!! I have done the same thing over and over and over and over and over again and I’m still unemployed after applying for almost 450 jobs mostly in higher education. I’ve read where others have applied for upwards of 2,000 jobs in their line of work in their first six months of unemployment with no results. No results! I’m sure the frustration level among the unemployed is enormous right now, and personally I AM SOOOOO OVER IT!!! I’ve been going nowhere for two years and three months and I QUIT!!! Wow, I feel so much better having finally said that. Who needs money, right?

Oh yeah… money. Sigh… minor detail and I don’t want to think about it right now. I’m tired of thinking about money and finding employment and politics and religion and, well, I’m just tired of it all.  Einstein stated it so perfectly, and obviously he knew what he was talking about from his own experience, too.

Okay, I suppose I still have to keep looking for a job, but something HAS to change. This is not working and I’m tired of doing something that is not working. Yes, I know the unemployment problem is systemic and this is the absolute worst economy of my entire lifetime and that there are MILLIONS in my same situation. It’s heartbreaking but nobody cares, at least nobody who can do anything about it (and they are all employed), but I don’t want to take this post into the political arena. I may never vote again, but I’ll save my thoughts on that issue until after we know more and the election gets closer. And… if I am employed again by then.

So, now that I’ve expressed my frustration at the insanity of the job search, I’m going to take a break from it for a while. I’ve decided to focus on something I do have control over and make the necessary changes in that area. And maybe once I start to see results from that venture (it’s dependent on me and no one else) it will help me to renew and rethink perhaps the next steps to finding that elusive job in this most horrible economy. Besides, I have no idea how else to renew my strength for the long haul other then waiting on the Lord to move on my behalf and I can’t force His hand or His timing. After waiting for two years and three months (and it’s not a passive waiting as I’ve applied for almost 450 jobs so far) I’m not sure what the holdup is anymore. So, I must focus on something I can change (not related to job hunting) in the interim so as not to feel like a complete failure right now.

I receive a daily email devotion from Dr. Michael Youssef at Leading the Way (his blog is located here) and on July 10, 2011, I received a short devotion titled “Sent Into Hiding.” Hopefully the link to it will remain active as it is currently located in their archive. It is a devotion on what to do when you feel stuck in a stifling situation; in a season where you feel disconnected from other people; where “you long for the next step in your life, but you feel trapped in the present.” That so totally describes how I feel right now. It was a great help to me in trying to understand why this very trying time in my life just seems to go on and on and on with no end in sight. If you feel that way in your own life right now, I highly recommend reading this very short devotion by clicking here or the link highlighted above.

The one good thing to come from all of this frustration at being “stuck on hold” for what seems like forever is that it is not a permanent seclusion. When extraordinarily trying times come into our lives, God always has a reason. Since Bible times God has put His people in “waiting rooms” for a season until He is ready to move them on. Moses spent forty years in Midian between his earlier years in Pharaoh’s household in Egypt and his later years spent leading the Israelites through the wilderness to the Promised Land (see Exodus for a full account of his story). Joseph spent years as a slave and in prison before he eventually became the second in command in Egypt (see Genesis 37, 39-50).

So, it is not unusual for God to put us “on hold” or in a “waiting room” to prepare us for something in the future He has in store for us. There are many accounts throughout the Bible where He did this with His servants. That is not to say we might achieve things on such a grand scale as Moses or Joseph, but if we are patient and we learn to wait on God during this time of waiting (even in the midst of great frustration), His purpose will eventually unfold if we endure and don’t buckle under the stress or try to do it on our own. And, it’s not about the “greatness” of the task He is preparing us for, but the “purpose” of the task that He gives us to fulfill.

Well, now that I’ve thought this whole matter through I’m feeling better. Not that the frustration is gone but the focus has been put back where it belongs–on God. So let me end this post with the following verse from Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV):

“But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”

Photo credit here 

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3 Comments

  1. Rev. Carlene says:

    Sara,
    Your post is very much like a modern day Psalm of Lament. The format they followed has 6 elements: identifying whom the psalm is prayed to, naming & describing the situation, expressing the anger/frustration/etc., expression of trust, plea for deliverance, expressing assurance that God will deliver, praise. This could really speak to the hearts of others in your type of situation and give fresh meaning to the Scriptures to them (namely, the Psalms in this case). I’d encourage you to do a follow up blog on this. If people could recognize this as a Psalm, then those who are so led might be inspired to write one of their own, and think about how much encouragement to the downtrodden could be generated as well as spiritual revival. You go girl!!! Keep writing.

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    • sally lacey says:

      Sara, I agree with Rev. Carlene and I feel your pain in this blog. I have experienced your feelings that you are expressing in this message. I am not looking for a job nor do I need one but we all have a season in our lives that seem’ like it is more then what we can take and that we are in a holding tank so to speek. The verse you quoted at the end is my verse that I have held on to for years. You know all I have gone through and 6 months after my marriage to Chuck the trials began again. I was thinking I had gotten a relief but did not work out that way. I have been trying to figure out what the Lord is trying to show me but for 4 and one half years of the 5 in this new marriage, I still have not gotten an answer. At least not an answer I want to hear. We all want a picture perfect life but I have decided their is not such a thing and we are just passing through this world, being prepared for eternity, when our life will really start. So dear Sara, all I can say is hang in their and TRUST THE LORD. He see’s the whole picture we just view it through a tunnell.
      Your friend, Sally Lacey

      Like

  2. mary green says:

    hi sara,
    very timely advice for michael and me, and everyone i’m sure. the michael youseff sites were good too. now i have to read the other blogs. talk to u soon,
    mary

    Like

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