“When you come to a fork in the road, take it” is a quote attributed to Baseball Hall-of-Famer, Yogi Berra (1925-2015), who was a brilliant baseball player and manager widely regarded as one of the greatest catchers in baseball history. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972. (Quote source here and here).
Who among us hasn’t had to face “a fork in the road” when making a decision that could totally alter the direction of our lives? Nobody can see into the future, yet a decision still needs to be made.
Life is a series of forks in the road. Some of those forks are big decisions regarding positive moments (e.g. should I marry, move, have a child), while others face us in our darkest times. In those dark times, we have to remember that what feels horrible and insurmountable today will not be there forever. Whether that “horrible” is an unhappy marriage, a feeling of loneliness, the pain of an injustice, a tragic loss or a seemingly unforgivable mistake—recognize that there are many options to choose from in terms of making things better. Do not blindly, impulsively or unconsciously go down the wrong path. The consequences of any fork in the road can be monumental, so take the time to choose the path that honors, rather than harms, humanity—your own or others. (Quote source here.)
For those of us who are Christians, we know that this life is not just about what we want, and that our beliefs impact our decisions. In an article published on February 22, 2011, in “Insights for Living Canada” titled, “When You Come to a Fork in the Road,” by Robyn Roste, writer, editor, and broadcast producer, she writes:
“I don’t know what to do with my life!”
How many times have you said or heard this?
These words were cried in frustration most memorably when I was moving home, after several years away. While in the midst of adventuring, discovering, and exploring, I rarely thought about what was next. But once it was over I found I was unprepared to deal with the choices in front of me.
Questions gnawed at my mind, making me wonder if I had missed God’s plan for my life. Did I get it wrong? Where was I supposed to be? What was I meant to do? Why didn’t anything make sense anymore?
In reality I wasn’t failing at life, I was at a crossroads. Along the bumpy path of life’s road we all inevitably encounter forks, and deciding which direction to turn is a part of life. But how do you decide which way to go? Without knowing the big picture or where the road will take you, how do you know which direction is right?
Sometimes the choices and options keep us up at night. And rightly so! Major life decisions like where to go to school, whether to marry, or what career path to follow should be taken seriously. However, losing sleep and anxious thoughts will only make things worse.
As Christians, we believe this world is temporary and Christ’s return is imminent. Our life choices, then, become that much more important—we want to live lives of meaning, yet know there’s so much more to come. It can be difficult to balance the here and now with what’s to come but the good news is God has already given us the tools we need to make wise decisions.
Here are some ways I’ve learned to focus on what really matters when decisions threaten to keep me up at night:
- Relax. Sometimes we get so focused on “the plan” and fearful of missing out on God’s best that we miss the point. Instead of stressing over the plan, focus on developing your relationship with Him. Trust that God will let you know what to do in His time. “Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.” (Isaiah 30:20-21).
- Remember. When a big decision is looming it’s easy to become overwhelmed to the point of paralysis. To break this cycle, remember God’s faithfulness to you in your life, and of His unchanging trustworthiness throughout history. He will remain faithful even if it’s difficult to see His hand in your current situation. “He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go.” (Proverbs 2:8-9).
- Rest. When we’re struggling, this is no easy task. Give God your burden and believe He will give you what you need. Find His promises in the Bible and choose to hope in them. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
My story at this particular crossroad has an interesting conclusion. At one point I wrote down my interests, dreams, and hopes. After listing everything I could think of, I put them in order of importance. Then I glued them to a poster board and started drawing circles and lines to connect related topics. After a while all I could see was a giant, sticky mess and I cried in desperation, “Lord you are the only one who can make sense of this! I need you to take over!”
Three years later I look back and can clearly see the Lord’s hand on my life, although at the time it just seemed like chaos. Step-by-step He has proven to be faithful and has shown me, in His perfect timing, how my seemingly random hopes and dreams connect in a way that makes me uniquely capable of serving Him in this time and place, with the ever-present hope of what’s to come. (Quote source here.)
In an article published on September 14, 2018, titled, “The Proverbial Fork in the Road,” by Michael Griego, Silicon Valley businessman, consultant, author and speaker, he offers the following six steps when facing a fork in the road:
This week I advised my laid-off friend to take the following 6 steps over the coming months. [Note: the complete article is available at this link for the background story.] I believe this advice applies to any believer facing that proverbial fork in the road:
- Thank God–We’re told to be grateful in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Thank God for your circumstances, even when painful. Acknowledge and invite God into your situation.
- Determine your Choice Options–Take wise consideration of your options. Include what makes sense, what may be a dream, and what may even not be reasonable. Reduce these alternatives into a few broad categories.
- Surrender them to God—If you believe that God is God Almighty, then why hold onto anything? Take your job/career alternatives and humbly lay them before God to take them and turn them inside out or blossom them as He desires.
- Conduct your Due Diligence—Do the work it takes to pray, study, research, consult others, etc., in order to best evaluate all of your options. (Incidentally, this is when I discovered that not all advice is God-led or inspired, even from well-intended Christians.) With discernment, seek wise, Holy Spirit-led counsel.
- Take Forward Steps—You can’t expect the solution to merely drop in your lap. It could, but don’t bet on it. Take proactive action steps in response to opportunities and leads. The good news here is that with God’s full invitation into your life/process, He will open and shut doors in uncanny ways.
- Repeat Steps 1-6 Daily—This whole plan of action is actually for daily practice. Come to God in thankful prayer every day with new highs and lows and adjusted opportunities. Surrender them all to God and continue your appropriate homework and action steps.
The epiphany for me, and hopefully for my friend, is in the realization that it’s a daily process. It drives us to our knees in submission and allows God to draw us closer to Him. Is God the Lord of your decision-making? (Quote source here.)
I have encountered many forks in the road throughout my years of struggling to conceive a child. One way tells me to wait, one way tells me to move forward in treatment. One way points to parenthood no matter the method, one way points to contentment in childlessness. The list can go on and on. Some days the pressure of choosing the “right” way is overwhelming, and the burden of these decisions can cloud my vision.
When these decisions tempt me to despair, I do nothing else but pray and seek the Lord in his Word. So friend, no matter what decision you are facing today, seek the Lord above all else and pray scripture fervently. May these prayers lead and bless you. [Meredith offers five very specific prayers at this link which is also the source for the above information].
She also offers the following “Prayer for the Directionless,” posted on September 12, 2016:
Are you in a season of feeling that you are directionless, lost, or stuck? Perhaps you need direction for today, or maybe you need direction for grander decisions. My hope for you is that this Scripture-led prayer will guide you as you seek the Lord for direction.
My Father and my God,
It’s unclear to me where I am to be going, but my desire is for you to lead me in your truths. Remind me not to lean on my own limited understanding; make my paths straight, Lord (Prov. 3:5-6).
Father, protect my mind from distraction and confusion as I determine what my next steps are. I admit that I cannot do life within my own strength, Lord; I need you. Please give me godly direction for my life. Grant me peace, contentment, and clarity through this process. I ask that you direct my steps by your word, and that no iniquity I’m experiencing would have power over me (Psalm 119:133).
My hope is in you all day long, Lord. Thank you for your divine provision over my life. Amen. (Quote source here.)
In an article dated June 5, 2014, titled, “Forks in the Road,” by Billy Graham (1918-2018), international Christian evangelist, ordained Southern Baptist minister, and considered to be “among the most influential Christian leaders” of the 20th Century (source here), he wrote:
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” –Psalm 32:8
We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.
Tragically, many people spend their lives trapped in an endless cycle of bad choices–and bad choices always have bad results. The Bible is right: “A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7). It also warns, “He who sows wickedness reaps trouble” (Proverbs 22:8). Even Christians aren’t immune from making wrong choices.
The journey God has set before us isn’t a freeway; we are constantly encountering forks and junctions and crossroads. Which way will we go when we meet them? Life is filled with decisions, and we can’t avoid them. But others are major (even if we don’t realize it at the time) and can literally change our lives.
How can we discover God’s will when we face a major decision? Let me give you six guidelines I have found helpful.
First, commit your decision to God. Make it a matter of regular prayer, asking God to guide you and make His will known to you.
Second, read the Scriptures. Does the Bible give any direct guidance about the decision you are facing? Does any principle in the Bible apply to your situation? Did anyone in the Bible ever face a similar decision, and, if so, how did they deal with it? (We can even learn from the wrong decisions some of them made.)
Third, understand your circumstances. God isn’t only working in us; He also is working around us. Often God guides us through our circumstances.
Fourth, seek godly advice. God has given some people a special gift of wisdom, and when we face a decision, it’s often helpful to seek their counsel.
Fifth, trust the Holy Spirit’s guidance. When we honestly seek His will, God often gives us an inner conviction or prompting to confirm which way He wants us to go. The Bible says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear the voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21).
Finally, trust God for the outcome. Once God leads you to make a decision, don’t draw back. Instead, trust His leading, and believe He goes before you – for He does. The Bible says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Remember: God loves you, and He wants you to know His will. Seek it . . . discover it . . . and then do it. His way is always best. (Quote source here.)
The year 2020 has presented us with many challenges so far, and if you happen to be at a fork in the road whether the decision you need to make is big or small, the above advice is a very good place to start. I’ll end this post with the words from Psalm 19:21 (NLT)…
You can make many plans . . .
But the Lord’s purpose . . .
Will prevail . . .
YouTube Video: “Which Way the Wind Blows” (1974) by The 2nd Chapter of Acts: