I think it is only fitting that on Friday the 13th (as in May 13, 2016) I should write a blog post on spiritual warfare. While almost everything we do in the Christian life has elements of this battle going on at any given time (through temptations and trials), the last time I wrote a blog post specifically on the topic of spiritual warfare was over four years ago on January 18, 2012, titled, “Regaining our Balance.”

I’m not sure anymore how seriously this topic is taken within Christian circles today because we are so focused on a “Positive Christianity” that you’d think we lived on a playground instead of a battlefield (see article titled, “16 Dangers of the Positive Christianity Movement,” by John Burton, published on October 6, 2014 in Charisma News). And we “nice” ourselves to death at our own peril. Yet, the Apostle Paul was very, very clear that we are in a spiritual battle all the days of our lives on this earth. Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:10-18, these very words:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

The Message Bible states these same verses (Ephesians 6:10-18) as follows:

A Fight to the Finish

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Dr. Jack Hayford has written a book along with his daughter, Rebecca Hayford Bauer, on the topic of spiritual warfare titled, “Penetrating the Darkness: Discovering the Power of the Cross Against Unseen Evil,” (2011). Dr. Hayford is the founding pastor of The Church On The Way in Van Nuys, California, where he served as senior pastor for more than three decades. A prolific and best-selling writer, Pastor Hayford is the author (or co-author) of more than fifty books and has composed 500 hymns and choruses, including the internationally known and widely recorded “Majesty” (see Jack Hayford Ministries for more information). Currently, Dr. Hayford serves as Chancellor of The King’s University (formerly The King’s College and Seminary) in Los Angeles and Dallas, which he founded in 1997. (Quote source here.)

As Dr. Hayford notes at the beginning of Chapter 1 titled, “Rules of Engagement,” praying is at the top of the list of weapons we use when we are engaged in spiritual warfare–which is all of the time. He uses the term “Rules of Engagement” for his first chapter as it “is a military term that defines for commanders and troops when, where and how force will be used.” And he chose this term “to title this chapter, not only because we are setting a framework into place, but also to send a clarion call that when we pray, we are, indeed, engaged in spiritual warfare” (Quote source page 10).

Dr. Hayford continues by stating on pp. 10-11:

The clash of good and evil, of God and Satan, or the Kingdom of God and the powers of darkness is there–there in the Word of God. It is a battle over which some believes have puzzled themselves, saying, “Didn’t Jesus ‘win it all’ at the cross? He said, ‘It is finished.’” Bewildered by that, some have suggested that any mention of spiritual warfare trivializes the cross of Christ, but in fact, that is not the case.

• The epistles laud the cross and the blood of Christ as having completed salvation’s provision, but they also teach that a spiritual conflict is being engaged in “this present evil age” (Galatians 1:4).
• The blood of the cross is not only honored, but its power is testified to as the source of authority that equips believers to prevail in this present age-long battle against “that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world.” (Revelation 12:9).
• All prayer–petition, intercession, supplication and praiseful thanksgiving–is noted as “the weapons of our warfare,” as believers gird for the battle in spiritual armor and take up spiritual weaponry (See 2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Ephesians 6:10-18).

It is vitally important that we understand, as Christians, that we are always engaged in this warfare. As Dr. Hayford notes at the end of this chapter (pp. 13-14):

In a very real sense, the words of the title of this book (“Penetrating the Darkness“) could appropriately be used to provide a subtitle for the Bible. All of the Word of God is a story–from the creation to the Consummation, from the chaotic darkness “upon the face of the deep” to the glories of the eternal city where forever “The Lamb is the Light thereof.”

Today, the Bible’s prophecies of the end times declare the challenge between, on the one hand, the increasing enterprises of vile and dark powers that corrupt humanity, and the inky blackness of hell’s demons surfacing for the final conflict (see 1 Timothy 4:2; 2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13; Revelation 9:1-21). On the other hand are those who answer Christ’s call as the Lord of the Church for us to overcome (see 1 John 5:4-5)!

The darkness is deepening–but the Word of God sounds a trumpet blast of faith-inspiring promise: Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds! It is the grace that flows from the cross and the grand that flowed to each of us who have met the Savior there. And it is also the same grace, filling and overflowing each of us who open to those overflowing “streams of living water,” that is available to every believer who will receive that full endowment of the Holy Spirit Jesus prophesied. It is the “river” that is provides power to live for Christ, to grow in the Word and prayer, and power to follow the Kingdom’s King–Jesus–as He leads us to “stand, therefore,” becoming equipped for battle.

In Chapter 2 titled, “The Gift of the Kingdom,” Dr. Hayford clearly explains the Kingdom of God, which was a constant theme Jesus preached about and was contained in the lessons He taught (p. 15):

He [Jesus] came proclaiming the power and presence of the Kingdom as the ‘entry’ of God’s will and rule, here to impact every situation. He applied Kingdom grace and power regarding every need or circumstance: health and healing, sin and forgiveness, human relationships, personal character, human failure, divine provision and His call for us to grow in Faith. His message at every point was to give hope. He came to bring “life abundantly”–life at a new dimension–both present and future. And He offered the gift of a Kingdom to all who would accept it–a dual offer of salvation, to birth us into the Kingdom, and the gift of partnership, to enable us as “citizens” to extend His Kingdom into all the world. So when He stood on the shores of Galilee, or taught on the Temple grounds in Jerusalem, He proclaimed His message with a sin-shattering, life-transforming possibility (pp. 15-16).

Continuing in the same chapter a few pages further (pp. 20-21), Dr. Hayford states:

As His redeemed, we are called beyond “being saved” to enter the school of discipleship with Jesus, first by opening to an empowering encounter with the Holy Spirit. That baptism with the Spirit includes the availability of diving power to assist us in our living, our growth, our praying, our worship, our labors, our–well, you name it! The Holy Spirit has come to glorify Christ–to cause the fullness of Jesus’ person and purpose to increase and graciously impact others around the beyond us where we live and for all that we pray (see Ephesians 3:16-19).

Further, when Kingdom truth about Kingdom rule is understood, not only does the beauty and wonder of Jesus’ call to our partnership become dynamic; the clarity of a sound understanding about our source of power and privilege in His name will not become muddled or muddied by pride, arrogance or any confusion about our authority as granted by God within His ultimate and unlimited sovereignty. We will find security as well as emboldened authority in Christ as the grandeur of God’s almightiness–His love, holiness, wisdom, power and grace is seen as ours in which to partner and to partake.

So come with me, and let us as redeemed sons and daughters, come with humility to learn His works and ways that now invite us to rule with Him through Christ and His cross.

A stunning proposition, wouldn’t you say?

In Chapter 3 titled, “Back to Basics,” Dr. Hayford writes about the foundation of prayer using the example of Jesus’ life and ministry and how He taught his disciples that the power of the Kingdom life flows through prayer (p. 31). He presents four “practicals” that should be a part of our daily devotional time: (1) Present yourself (pp. 34-36; (2) Present your heart (pp.36-38); (3) Present your day (pp. 38-40); and (4) Present your “reach” (influence) (pp. 40-46). And he ends this chapter with these words:

Keep pressing in! While you are learning, keep pressing forward, and never let the liar discourage your spirit. We can be tempted to think about daily prayer the same way that we do New Year’s resolutions. We get excited about the newness of what the Lord is working in our lives, and pray three days in a row. Then something comes up and we miss a day. If we miss two more days, we feel as though we are back down to zero again! It is as if we were scoring points and now we are behind. That is absolutely a lie of the devil. When we miss a day, all that happens is the we missed a day; it does not annul the days when we did pray.

Learning the habit o daily devotional prayer will take time. But it is step one in learning to penetrate the darkness through prayer. As growing disciples, we build that foundation of daily prayer. But there will also be times that the Lord calls us to deeper dimensions of prayer. Scripture talks about other kinds of prayer through which we can extend the light and life of His Kingdom (pp. 46-47).

It goes without saying that this blog post would be exceedingly lengthy if I continued to give a brief description of all eleven chapters. The remaining chapters are titled, (4) Intercession 101; (5) Intercession Practicum; (6) It’s Only by the Blood; (7) A Binding Contract; (8) Breaking Loose; (9) Engaging in Battle; (10) Invasion of Life; and (11) We Shall Do Valiantly. There are also two appendixes: Appendix A: A Prayer for Receiving Christ as Lord and Savior; and Appendix B: A Prayer for Inviting the Lord to Fill You with the Holy Spirit.

There is one more chapter, Chapter 9 titled “Engaging in Battle,” that I want to make mention of as it is so important for us in understanding our real enemy. Dr. Hayford opens up the chapter with the following story on pp. 141-142:

I really enjoy watching movies about our nation’s  history, both documentaries and historical fiction. One time I was watching “The Patriot” and was struck by one particular scene. In case you have never seen this movie, it is set in the time period of the Revolutionary Way. The main character is a widower with seven children. Having fought in a previous conflict, he knows the horrors of war, and now his main goal is to keep his family out of the war. Thus he plays it safe and refuses to take a stand; he is now pledged to peace at any cost. His older sons are anxious to fight, anxious to engage the enemy, anxious to take the stand their father refuses to take. But though they argue and pressure him, he remains firm in his resolve: “I will not engage the enemy for the safety of my family.”

But the enemy comes and find him.

This man tries at one point to be humanitarian to some injured Colonial soldiers. Just then he turns around to see the Redcoats marching through his fields to his home. Enraged at his kindness to their enemy, the British soldiers shoot all the Colonial wounded, take the man’s oldest son captive and set fire to his home. In an instant, his life has changed, and he has no choice but to enter the battle.

Sometimes we do the same thing when it comes to our Adversary, the devil. We act as though if we play fair, the devil will leave us alone. But we need to come to grips with the fact that the devil is not just some little character that sits on our shoulders telling us to steal the cookie out of the cookie jar. He is vicious, relentless and completely committed to the destruction of humankind. Like the man in the movie, we can go about our lives and refuse to take a stand, but the point will arrive when the battle comes to us (pp. 141-142).

Yes, it will . . . when we aren’t expecting it the battle will come to us anyway. Dr. Hayford then goes on to explain how the “effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16 KJV)–The Message version words it this way: “The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with” (p. 143). He then goes into the story of the prophet Elijah. Elijah faces many incredibly tough battles. Dr. Hayford states the following about Elijah (pp. 148-149):

The description of Elijah is one of a man who was subject to life’s passions as we are. He was not immune to depression, despair or despondency. I am sometimes convinced that Elijah was the kind of guy who woke up irritable some mornings. In fact, we could easily draw the conclusion that he woke up irritable every morning! Elijah even describes himself to the Lord as “very zealous” (1 Kings 19:10). The Hebrew word used there literally means “to envy, be jealous, be envious, be zealous.” Elijah was passionate about God, blunt in how he addressed people, and well, kind of quirky. We see a lot of these same attributes in John the Baptist, who, Scripture tells us, came in the spirit of Elijah. Bottom line–these guys did not give you the warm fuzzies.

When James [author of the “effectual fervent prayer” verse cited above and the Book of James in the New Testament] refers to this prophet, he makes clear that Elijah’s prayer of faith was not based upon superhuman transcendence of the flesh and its weaknesses. He did not walk around radiating imaginary holiness, robed in white and making wise and powerful utterances. He was a man subject to the same feelings and emotions that we experience. And it is this same “ordinary guy” who Scripture says prayed and no rain fell for three and a half years. When he prayed again, rain fell.

This is who James chooses to illustrate how effectual fervent prayer works. The New Testament application of this dramatic Old Testament story should come as no surprise to any of us. Living on this side of the cross, we sometimes forget we are living in the continuum of God’s workings. God has always been God; He has always been at work. As surely as Abraham looked ahead and rejoiced to see Jesus’ day (see John 8:56), we can look back and access the promise of God’s past workings. The Bible tells us that “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Every lesson and work of God that we see in His timeline of redemptive history can be applied to our own lives. The life of Elijah is just one example of the miracle workings of God that can be claimed by any of His children. It is Elijah’s story; it is James’ story; and it is designed to become my story, and your story, too.

And that’s good news! If you are interested in ordering “Penetrating the Darkness,” is it available at this link on Amazon.com. It is also available at Jack Hayford Ministries at this link.

Spiritual warfare is very, very real. We cannot take it lightly or think that we are immune to it. And don’t wait for the enemy to come and find you. But even if you do, remember who to turn to even in your darkest hours. . . .

Jesus Christ is the same . . .

Yesterday, today . . .

And forever . . . .

YouTube Video: “Backseat Driver” by TobyMac:

Photo #1 credit here
Photo #2 credit here

Yesterday I was at one of my favorite bookstores browsing through the bargain books section when I stumbled upon a little gift book titled “Whispers of Grace” (2013) by Ellie Claire. It is filled with short sayings by famous folks and Bible verses in various translations on the subject of grace. Since some of my blog posts tend to deal with tougher subjects (but not always), the subject of grace is of paramount importance to believers in Jesus Christ and one of great comfort to us. It is, after all, one of the cornerstones of our faith.

A brief biblical definition of grace on CARM.org (Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry) is as follows:

Biblically, grace is unmerited favor. It is God’s free action for the benefit of His people. It is different from justice and mercy. Justice is getting what we deserve. Mercy is not getting what we deserve. Grace is getting what we do not deserve. In grace we get eternal life, something that, quite obviously, we do not deserve, but because of God’s love and kindness manifested in Jesus on the Cross, we receive the great blessing of redemption.

Grace is God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace rules out all human merit (Rom. 11:6). It is the product of God that is given by God because of who He is and not because of who we are. It is the means of our salvation (Eph. 2:8-9). We are no longer under the Law but under grace (Rom. 6:14). (See 1 Cor. 15:11, Rom. 5:2, 15-20, 2 Cor. 12:9, and 2 Cor. 9:8). (Quote source here.)

When I was a young girl (which was several decades ago), one of the first acronyms I learned in church was grace (God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense), and it has always stuck with me. And one of the classic Bible verses on grace is found in Ephesians 2:8-9:

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

GotQuestions?org gives us a longer definition of grace:

The gospel message is the good news of God’s grace, so it is important to know what grace is and to constantly seek to get a better view of what grace does in our lives.

Grace is an essential part of God’s character. Grace is closely related to God’s benevolence, love, and mercy. Grace can be variously defined as “God’s favor toward the unworthy” or “God’s benevolence on the undeserving.” In His grace, God is willing to forgive us and bless us abundantly, in spite of the fact that we don’t deserve to be treated so well or dealt with so generously.

To fully understand grace, we need to consider who we were without Christ and who we become with Christ. We were born in sin (Psalm 51:5), and we were guilty of breaking God’s holy laws (Romans 3:9–20, 23; 1 John 1:8–10). We were enemies of God (Romans 5:6, 10; 8:7; Colossians 1:21), deserving of death (Romans 6:23a). We were unrighteous (Romans 3:10) and without means of justifying ourselves (Romans 3:20). Spiritually, we were destitute, blind, unclean, and dead. Our souls were in peril of everlasting punishment.

But then came grace. God extended His favor to us. Grace is what saves us (Ephesians 2:8). Grace is the essence of the gospel (Acts 20:24). Grace gives us victory over sin (James 4:6). Grace gives us “eternal encouragement and good hope” (2 Thessalonians 2:16). Paul repeatedly identified grace as the basis of his calling as an apostle (Romans 15:15; 1 Corinthians 3:10; Ephesians 3:2, 7). Jesus Christ is the embodiment of grace, coupled with truth (John 1:14).

The Bible repeatedly calls grace a “gift” (e.g., Ephesians 4:7). This is an important analogy because it teaches us some key things about grace:

First, anyone who has ever received a gift understands that a gift is much different from a loan, which requires repayment or return by the recipient. The fact that grace is a gift means that nothing is owed in return.

Second, there is no cost to the person who receives a gift. A gift is free to the recipient, although it is not free to the giver, who bears the expense. The gift of salvation costs us sinners nothing. But the price of such an extravagant gift came at a great cost for our Lord Jesus, who died in our place.

Third, once a gift has been given, ownership of the gift has transferred and it is now ours to keep. There is a permanence in a gift that does not exist with loans or advances. When a gift changes hands, the giver permanently relinquishes all rights to renege or take back the gift in future. God’s grace is ours forever.

Fourth, in the giving of a gift, the giver voluntarily forfeits something he owns, willingly losing what belongs to him so that the recipient will profit from it. The giver becomes poorer so the recipient can become richer. This generous and voluntary exchange from the giver to the recipient is visible in 2 Corinthians 8:9: “You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.”

Finally, the Bible teaches that grace is completely unmerited. The gift and the act of giving have nothing at all to do with our merit or innate quality (Romans 4:4; 11:5–6; 2 Timothy 1:9–10). In fact, the Bible says quite clearly that we don’t deserve God’s salvation. Romans 5:8–10 says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. . . . While we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son.”

Grace does not stop once we are saved; God is gracious to us for the rest of our lives, working within and upon us. The Bible encourages us with many additional benefits that grace secures for every believer:

• Grace justifies us before a holy God (Romans 3:24; Ephesians 1:6; Titus 3:7).

• Grace provides us access to God to communicate and fellowship with Him (Ephesians 1:6; Hebrews 4:16).

• Grace wins for us a new relationship of intimacy with God (Exodus 33:17).

• Grace disciplines and trains us to live in a way that honors God (Titus 2:11–14; 2 Corinthians 8:7).

• Grace grants us immeasurable spiritual riches (Proverbs 10:22; Ephesians 2:7).

• Grace helps us in our every need (Hebrews 4:16).

• Grace is the reason behind our every deliverance (Psalm 44:3–8; Hebrews 4:16).

• Grace preserves us and comforts, encourages, and strengthens us (2 Corinthians 13:14; 2 Thessalonians 2:16–17; 2 Timothy 2:1).

Grace is actively and continually working in the lives of God’s people. Paul credited the success of his ministry not to his own substantial labors but to “the grace of God that was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). Grace is the ongoing, benevolent act of God working in us, without which we can do nothing (John 15:5). Grace is greater than our sin (Romans 5:20), more abundant than we expect (1 Timothy 1:14), and too wonderful for words (2 Corinthians 9:15).

As the recipients of God’s grace, Christians are to be gracious to others. Grace is given to us to serve others and to exercise our spiritual gifts for the building up of the church (Romans 12:6; Ephesians 3:2, 7; 4:7; 1 Peter 4:10). (Quote source here.)

And all of that is Good News! Grace is God’s unmerited gift to us . . . and not because of anything we have done, but because of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ. We cannot work our way to God on our own merit by anything that we have done. The gift of grace comes through the sacrifice of Jesus to those of us who believe in him.

Getting back to the gift book I mentioned at the beginning of this post, “Whispers of Grace,” it contains 61 sections on the subject of grace each with it’s own title starting with “The Tune of Grace” and ending with “Passionate Love.” Each section contains a variety of approximately six to seven quotes on the subject title in that particular section. Here are four sections I’ve selected from the book to give you an idea of what the rest of the sections are like. The first section is titled, “Strong Refuge” (pp. 48-49):

Strong Refuge

We know that [God] give us every grace, every abundant grace; and though we are so weak of ourselves, this grace is able to carry us through every obstacle and difficulty. ~Elizabeth Ann Seton (1774-1821)

Why would God promise a refuge unless He knew we would need a place to hide once in a while? ~Neva Coyle

The LORD is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him. ~Nahum 1:7 NLT

If the Lord be with us, we have no cause of fear. His eye is upon us, His arm over us, His ear open to our prayer–His grace sufficient, His promise unchangeable. ~John Newton (1725-1807)

Jesus Christ is no security against storms, but He is perfect security in storms. He has never promised you an easy passage, only a safe landing. ~L.B. Cowman (1870-1960)

Do not take over much thought for tomorrow. God, who has led you safely on so far, will lead you on to the end. Be altogether at rest in the loving holy confidence which you ought to have in His heavenly Providence. ~Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

You are my strong refuge. My mouth is filled with Your praise and with Your glory all day long. ~Psalm 71:7-8 NASB

This next section is titled, “The Source” (pp. 68-69):

The Source

He is the Source. Of everything. Strength for your day. Wisdom for your task. Comfort for your soul. Grace for your battle. Provision for each need. Understanding for each failure. Assistance for every encounter. ~Jack Hayford

We are forgiven and righteous because of Christ’s sacrifice; therefore we are pleasing to God in spite of our failures. Christ alone is the source of our forgiveness, freedom, joy, and purpose. ~Robert S. McGee

The very life of God, epitomized in the love of God, originates only and always with Him. ~W. Phillip Keller (1920-1997)

For he satisfies the thirsty and fells the hungry with good things. ~Psalm 107:9 NLT

He is the God who made the world and everything in it…. From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth…. His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him–though he is not far from any one of us. ~Acts 17:24, 26-27 NLT

We must drink deeply from the very Source the deep calm and peace of interior quietude and refreshment of God, allowing the pure water of diving grace to flow plentifully and unceasingly from the Source itself. ~Mother Teresa (1910-1997)

You are never alone. In your heart of hearts, in the place where no two people are ever alike, Christ is waiting for you. And what you never dared hope for springs to life. ~Brother Roger of Taize (1915-2005)

And here is another section entitled, “Encountering God” (pp. 108-109):

Encountering God

We encounter God in the ordinariness of life, not in the search for spiritual highs and extraordinary, mystical experiences, but in our simple presence in life. ~Brennan Manning (1934-2013)

God is with us in the midst of our daily, routine lives. In the middle of cleaning the house or driving somewhere in the pickup…. Often it’s in the middle of the most mundane task that He lets us know He is there with us. We realize, then, that there can be no “ordinary” moments for people who live their lives with Jesus. ~Michael Card

This is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. ~I John 3:24 NIV

Do you believe that God is near? He wants you to. He wants you to know that He is in the midst of your world. Wherever you are as you read these words, He is present. In your car. On the plane. In your office, your bedroom, your den. He’s near. And He is more than near. He is active. ~Max Lucado

Much of what is sacred is hidden in the ordinary, everyday moments of our lives. To see something of the sacred in those moments takes slowing down so we can live our lives more reflectively. ~Ken Gire

If each moment is sacred–a time and place where we encounter God–life itself is sacred. ~Jean M. Blomquist

And I’ll finish up this post with the last section in the book titled, “Passionate Love” (pp. 126-127):

Passionate Love

The highest act of love is the giving of the best gift, and, if necessary, at the greatest cost, to theleast deserving. That’s what God did. At the loss of His Son’s life to the totally undeserving, God gave the best gift–the display of the glory of Christ who is the image of God. ~John Piper

It may seem strange to think that God wants to spend time with us, but… think about it. If God went to all the trouble to come to earth, to live the life that He did, to die for us, then there’s got to be a hunger and a passion behind that. We think of prayer as an “ought to,” but in reality it is a response to God’s passionate love for us. We need to refocus on the fact that God is waiting for us to show up and be with Him and that our presence truly touches Him. ~Henry Cloud

When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us…. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. ~Titus 3:4-8 NIV

God loves you! He wants you to know Him, and He is sufficient for your every need. ~Anne Graham Lotz

You have worked wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness. ~Isaiah 25:1 NASB

On the back cover is the following statement:

When we stop to listen, we can hear whispers of God’s grace all around us. Sighs of His love softly speak to our hearts, assuring us that He is with us in all things, at all times. His grace is a never-ending blessing to be shared.

So let’s share it! I’ll end this post with a quote from Charles Colson (1931-2012) on page 12:

It is not what we do that matters, but what a sovereign God chooses to do through us. . .

God doesn’t want our success . . .

He wants us . . . .

YouTube Video: “Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)” by Chris Tomlin:

Photo #1 credit here
Photo #2 credit here

Social media has changed the definition of friendship in our culture. Actually, the definition of genuine friendship hasn’t change but social media has made it much more shallow, transitory, and sometimes, meaningless. A person can have a thousand “friends” on Facebook and not even know most of them, other then what they post or as a casual acquaintance. And who can keep up with the posts of a thousand friends?

A quote often expressed about friendship that we hear a lot is stated in it’s longer form by Sarah Ockler:

“In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand. Maybe even on one finger. Those are the friends you need to cherish, and I wouldn’t trade one of them for a hundred of the other kind. I’d rather be completely alone than with a bunch of people who aren’t real; people who are just passing time.” (Quote source here.)

At the end of an article titled, “Why You Can Count Your True Friends on One Hand,” published on HuffPost Blog (2011) by Elizabeth Kesses (“BritChick Paris”) she makes this statement at the end of her article:

“Friendship has to be an exchange. It cannot be a one way street, that’s self sacrifice. As someone recently told me “if someone wants to be a part of your life they will make the effort to be in it, so don’t reserve a place in your heart for someone who doesn’t make the effort to stay.” (Quote source here.)

A Biblical definition of true friendship is found at CompellingTruth.org:

Friendships can be among the most rewarding and the most frustrating relationships in our lives. From Old to New Testament, the Bible is full of friendship stories and advice. We are told that friends love at all times (Proverbs 17:17), only wound us in ways that are trustworthy (i.e., tough love; Proverbs 27:6), are more loyal than family at times (Proverbs 18:24), provide mutual edification (Proverbs 27:17), can impart wisdom (Proverbs 13:20), and they may even sacrifice themselves for us (John 15:13).

David and Jonathan are well-known for their close friendship. First Samuel 18:1-5 talks about the knitting of the two men’s souls. Jonathan gave his robe and armor to David, essentially honoring David above himself and stripping himself of his kingly position (Jonathan’s father was King Saul). Later Jonathan stood up for David to his father (1 Samuel 19:1-7). Jonathan risked his life for his friend (1 Samuel 20). God used the friendship to preserve David for the throne. David, too, had deep loyalty to Jonathan. Second Samuel 1:17-27 is David’s lament over the death of Saul and Jonathan. Even though Saul had been an enemy to David, the new king sought out someone from Saul’s family that he might show him kindness for the sake of Jonathan (2 Samuel 9:1-13; 21:7). David’s sense of loyalty to Jonathan and his gratefulness for their friendship outweighed the enmity between Saul and David.

Embedded in instructions regarding the Church is some advice about friendship. Paul told believers to be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, patient, forgiving, at peace with one another, loving, and thankful (Colossians 3:13-15). Friends also teach one another and worship God together (Colossians 3:16).

The truest friend is Jesus. John 15:12-15 says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Friends are like-minded. They love one another with sacrificial love. They share with one another from the heart. Friends know each other well and promote one another’s welfare. We are blessed to have been adopted into the family of God and to have been made friends of Jesus. In return, we are called to be good friends to one another.

According to the Bible, true friendship is characterized by love. The Proverbs, the example of David and Jonathan, instructions to the Church, and, ultimately, Jesus’ example depict true friendship. A true friend loves, gives wise counsel, remains loyal, forgives, and promotes the other’s welfare. (Quote source here.)

“Friendships can be among the most rewarding and the most frustrating relationships in our lives.” And who among us hasn’t experienced that truth in our own relationships with others to include family members and relatives. True friends watch out for each other, care about each other, and are willing to sacrifice their own time and comfort and resources to help each other. And that kind of friendship is hard to find. In fact, it’s actually quite rare, just as the quotes at the beginning of this post state.

One of the verses cited in the statement above is Proverbs 18:24 which states: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The NLT states that verse as follows: “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” It is interesting to note what that verse is saying when it states that “a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” GotQuestions.org gives the meaning behind that statement:

Proverbs 18:24 teaches, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, / but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Given the fact that we normally think of blood being thicker than water, this proverb is rather jarring: there are ways that a friend can be more faithful than a brother.

The ESV translates the first line of the proverb this way: “A man of many companions may come to ruin.” In any translation the emphasis is on the plurality of friends. A person with many friends may still run into problems. A large number of friends does not equal help in the time of need. Many popular celebrities have faced this dilemma—they can have thousands of fans, yet fame is fickle, and the fans quickly disappear during difficult times. Our era of social media promotes many superficial connections who are called “friends,” but there are few true friends. Even the most connected can be lonely.

In contrast, the second line of this antithetical proverb tells us, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The concept of friendship is a strong one in Proverbs, and the word friend is used nine other times in the book. Wisdom is called a friend (7:4), a friend loves at all times (17:17), a poor man is deserted by his friend (19:4), everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts (19:6), a person with gracious speech has the king as his friend (22:11), faithful are the wounds of a friend (27:6), the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel (27:9), and do not forsake your friend and father’s friend (27:10).

From these verses, we see there are two kinds of “friends.” There is the friend who exists because you have something to offer (such as a material gift or popularity-by-association), and there is a friend who exists due to genuine love and friendship. Proverbs 18:4 offers a contrast between these two types of friends. You can amass as many friends of the first type as you want but still come to ruin; however, even one friend of the second type is a great advantage.

The genuine or authentic friend is someone who sticks closer than a brother. In other words, he or she can be counted on. This friend is steadfast; he or she will be there for you even more so than a family member. Brotherhood is one of the strongest relationships we know. A friend who sticks closer than a brother is a trustworthy friend, indeed.

A wonderful biblical example of this type of closer-than-a-brother friendship is what existed between David and Jonathan. They became fast friends following the battle in which David killed Goliath. Despite the many hardships both men faced, they remained faithful to one another as friends and protected one another from harm. Jonathan even risked his life interceding for David before King Saul, who sought to kill David. After Jonathan’s death, David wrote a lament for his friend: “Jonathan lies slain on your heights. / I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; / you were very dear to me” (2 Samuel 1:25–26). Their friendship was stronger than David’s relationship with any of his own brothers.

Jesus was known as a “friend of sinners” (Luke 7:34), and He has promised, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Jesus is truly the Friend who sticks closer than a brother, and blessed are those who have Him as their Friend (see John 15:14). (Quote source here.)

There is another type of friendship that, too often, Christians tend to get tripped up over, and it is the topic of a book I recently read titled, “Forbidden Friendships: Retaking the Biblical Gift of Male-Female Friendships” (2015, 2nd ed) by Joshua D. Jones. A statement regarding the book on Amazon.com states the following:

“Forbidden Friendships” presents the case for why Christian men and women need to engage one another in deep friendship and how to do so. Contrary to what some have taught, having close friends of the opposite gender is healthy, Biblical and important for spiritual growth. But divisions are in the Church. In the name of integrity, walls now exist that keep us from meaningful brother-sister friendship in Christ. While personal boundaries can be healthy, these generalized divisions are not Biblical nor these rules in line with Church History at its best. Contrary to their promises, we are not safer from sexual immorality by adhering to them – we are more at risk. In this 2nd edition – 1st edition entitled ‘Can Christian Men and Women be Friends?’ – Jones has refined and added more material for greater clarity and impact. Chapter subjects include: mixed friendships in Church history, practical and pastoral issues, ’emotional adultery’, Freud, Scripture survey and one on friendships in heaven. (Quote source here.)

Jones states his main reason for writing the book in his introduction titled, “Why This?” on pp. 4-5:

. . . there has been a growing relational chasm within the church that seeks to keep men and women from engaging in genuine friendship. This separation has been parading under the banner of integrity and it has become unhealthy. Not all agree with the new boundaries which keep men and women apart. But those who disagree often fear to raise their own objections.

This is important. We are supposed to be “the family of God,” yet the familial brother-sister, father-daughter, mother-son relationships which should be an outworking of the gospel are weak or missing. The experience of my Scandinavian wife and I is that this problem is greater in the USA (my place of origin) than in Britain or Europe; but it is an issue throughout the whole of the West.

My story? Well, in spite of having had a wonderful spiritual mother in my teen years, I later received strict discipleship when I was a bit older on the necessity to have lots of boundaries between men and women in order to maintain purity. A few events happened which caused me to revisit this part of my discipleship in the light of Scripture. These included helping celibate Christians who struggled with SSA (same-sex attraction) and having a board review during which time my pastoral work with young men was commended but I was also described as being “too distant and inaccessible” to women. It was a critique I do not believe Jesus would have ever received.

In addition to my cherished wife, I now have women near me whom I consider to be friends in the truest sense. If you are one, please know that my appreciation for you is much richer than my pen is able to describe. You are uneclipsable sisters who support me, my marriage, my ministry and you help me in ways that no male friend ever could. Thank you. (Taken from the Introduction titled, “Why This?” on pp. 4-5.)

From my own experiences as a single professional woman who is now in my 60’s, I found that once I entered adulthood back in my late teens that the emphasis from the church was that I find a suitable Christian man to marry, but to have genuine friendships with men other then seeking a mate was frowned upon, and indeed, suspect. And this dichotomy has always been there in church settings. Of course, there have been times (more than I care to remember) that because I was older and still not married, that some church folks thought (or assumed) I had other leanings (as in being a lesbian, which I am not). This assumption started soon after I reached the ripe old age of 30 and was still single. This tendency by the church to judge others who, for whatever reason, have never married and are well past the usual age of marriage (at least first marriages) of 18-30, has been a major frustration for me, and, I suspect, others who are Christian and have never been married, too.

But back to Jones’ book . . . . There are eight chapters in the book starting with an introduction titled, “Why This?” The eight chapters are titled, “Deceived by Integrity,” “Why Be Friends?”, “When Sex isn’t Enough,” “Lessons from the Past,” “Does the Bible Promote Sin?”, “Examining Emotional Adultery,” “Questions and Objections,” and “Now . . . And Not Yet.” It also includes two appendixes at the end titled, “Facebook Reactions” and “On Being Gay and SSA.”

My focus for the purpose of this blog post is on Chapter 2, “Why Be Friends?” In this chapter Jones discusses six primary reasons for establishing friendships between men and women. He starts off by stating that friendship in general (even same gender friendships) are suffering, and states the following after a brief discussion on what he states is “the dismal state of same gender friendships” (p. 23):

If we are so impoverished in the area of homosociality (same gender friendship), why bother advocating for heterosociality (mixed gender friendship)? After all, in many evangelical circles these relationships are now frowned upon and those who engage in them often have their integrity questioned. And–to be honest–we admit that at times unanticipated romantic feelings can come into play and have to be dealt with. With all of the potential challenges mixed friendships may invite from without and within, are they really worth it?

Here are six reasons why they are:

These six reasons are listed below:

(1) For healing, joy and growth (pp. 23-26)

Jones cites a survey where women were asked to what it was they most enjoyed about their friendships with men as opposed to their friendships with women, and the top three answers were: (1) Levity and a sense of joking and humor not as easily found among women, (2) a sense of “big brother” or familial protection, and (3) insight as to how men really think (p. 25)

Men were asked a similar question regarding their friendships with woman as opposed to their friendships with other men, and they stated that their friendships with women enabled them to talk more deeply then they tend to do in their friendships with other men (p. 25).

Jones also states on p. 26:

The fact that we enjoy a different dynamic in our friendships with men then we do in our friendships with women is not–contrary to pseudo-Freudian thought–a fruit of our repressed sex drive. God created us to enjoy one another, gender differences and all. This helps us grow. We receive things from spiritual mothers and sisters which we do not receive from spiritual fathers and brothers.

(2) To help us resist temptation (pp. 26-31)

It goes without saying that this is probably one of the biggest reasons given to avoid mixed gender friendships. However, as Jones states on pp. 26-27:

Today’s “integrity” rules create distance between men and women. They promise us that if we adhere to them, we will walk in sexual purity and affair proof our marriages. But these rules lie.

The reality that mixed friendships can help us resist sexual temptation may sound counter-intuitive at first, but it is true. We have physical needs as human beings: water, air, food, shelter, love, encouragement, etc. We also have social and physiological needs. Many needs are same-gender in nature. As men we need fathers and brothers to initiate us and affirm us into the world of men. Women also have similar needs, especially in connecting with maternal figures.

But in addition to same-gender needs, we also have legitimate opposite gender needs. It may be a woman hungry for a father figure she never had. It may be a young man in need of nurture which an older, spiritual mother may be able to give. It may be a sense of sibling-like validation or affirmation which may strengthen and encourage you in a different way that if it came from a person of the same gender. When these needs are not met in healthy ways we are more prone to seek fulfillment in unhealthy ones.

Well, it goes without saying that this blog is quite long already so let me list the last four reasons with a very brief sentence on each one:

(3) To strengthen our marriages (pp. 31-33) (Without fear of threat or jealousy becoming involved)

(4) Because we are commanded to be friends (pp. 33-35) (Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you.”)

(5) To show the power of the Cross (pp. 35-38) (“The Cross of Jesus breaks down the curse of sin and makes reconciliation between genders possible”–p. 36).

(6) Release of Ministry (p. 39) (Receiving encouraging words from the opposite gender)

What I have provided above is merely a fraction of the information contained in this chapter and, of course, the rest of the book, but I hope it has whet your appetite to learn more. The book is available for purchase at Amazon.com at this link (click here).

When considering friendships of any kind, perhaps the most vital passage in the Bible, which is most often quoted at wedding ceremonies but is true of all friendships and relationships, is found in 1 Corinthian 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. . . .

So whatever you wish that others . . .

Would do to you . . .

Do also to them . . . . (Matthew 7:12, ESV)

YouTube Video: “Friends” (Friends Are Friends Forever) by Michael W. Smith:

Photo #1 credit here
Photo #2 credit here